Reading What I Write
I have written many poems
Since that fateful day
Yet for some silly reason
I seem to forget what they say
Helping me feel better
But only as a short quick fix
If I don’t take things to heart
And keep them in the mix
By reading what I write
I can keep things fresh in mind
Keep the demons at bay
And put the pain behind
In writing I have found
Many of my Ahas
But the Devil can take control
When I think of all my flaws
I need to keep on writing
But I need to read as well
To exorcise my demons
And send them back to Hell
8/23/08
No Longer in Control
This is hard for me
To try and understand
I’ve never been like this before
I’m entering a new land
The scenery is changing
Constantly with and ebb and flow
Nothing feels comfortable
I need to just let go
I’ve screwed things up
When I try to do too much
Trying to fix things quickly
Keeps getting me in dutch
I often seem to forget
How this can take it’s toll
I didn’t seem to realize
I’m no longer in control
Trusting in the Lord
Helping me to become
The person I need to be
To bring us back home
It will take some time
As many things have changed
You are now much stronger
And now I am estranged
Only time will tell
The Lord has set a goal
To get there (wherever it may be)
I need to relinquish my control
8/23/08
Watching and Waiting
You continue to grow
Getting stronger and sure
Wanting to get it right
So you can endure
Cold as ice at times
Yet your heart warms through
Life’s struggles are
Still hard on you
Through work and through play
You are in control
Changing your life
Hardening your soul
You say you’re a survivor now
Needing to keep yourself secure
From the pain in the world
Your sanity to insure
Taking charge of your life
Decisions are now your own
Doing what YOU want
Together or alone
Before you make yourself
Too callous and cold
Remember the wonders
HE has made to behold
Friends and family stand firm
To help ease your aching
With loving eyes we are
Watching and waiting
8/13/08
Why I Write
I write these poems
To share how I feel
To keep the promise
To make me real
No longer can I
Keep everything in
Not letting others know
Was my major sin
Communication and trust
Were always the key
Not wanting to burden
I kept it all within me
Now I have changed
Ready to share
ALL of my life
With those who care
I would rather talk
Say these things out loud
To you if you’d listen
A silver lining in the cloud
8/10/08
Dreams
Sleep is hard to come by
The nights seem so long
My hopes all but die
Life is now so wrong
Three weeks have gone by
Since I learned my fate
At night I just cry
Since that terrible date
Two dreams have come to me
Much to my surprise
That good dreams could still be
Counted among my allies
The first dream was of you
We started kissing passionately
I asked if you were sure
You smiled and continued zealously
I don’t remember dreams
But this one sticks in mind
I hope I can redeem
Myself, for of my unkind
One other dream survived
For me to think about
Our love fully revived
Making love til worn-out
I know these are just dreams
And may not have value
But now my heart screams
“Dreams can come true”
8/9/08
